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Post by pornstar on Sept 15, 2007 17:33:35 GMT -4
Static...
What is going on in APW-land?... the answer piles up through the mess...
Ladies and Gentlemen, you are now tuned into the often imitated, never duplicated show of "Fuck-You-Uppery..."
"That's right! Familia, BITCHES!!!
*Syndicated 90's sitcom cheering: Think Pam Anderson showing up with her young bewbs on Home Improvement*
"That's right... when this voice comes on with the Fam Logo in the background, you KNOW an ass is gon' get roasted... and fuckin' A... who's on the choppin' block?
Cabal Xavier? Naaaaaaaaaaah... he ain't piss me off again yet...
Showtimah over his win? Nah, fuck 'em... I'll use any nickname I want cuz apparently givin' nicknames to oneself is the cool thing to do... but, while we're on that topic...
Some numbnuts nimrod's gone about callin' his ass the "Mastermind..." and apparently forgot that is s'pposed to mean he's smart and capable of speaking articulately... (yeah, I know what that word means, ninjas....) so... yeah. You see where I'm goin' with this why bitches shouldn't give themselves nicknames? And... if this asshole was such a Mastermind... what the fuck's he doin' lookin' like the fuckin' PINK POWER RANGER?!?!?!"
"If you guessed that I was talkin' 'bout APW's resident n00b Warrior... then you.... are....
RIGHT!"
Dice can already be seen in the background trying hard to keep his composure...
"Seriously... this is the type of dude you use for them joke storylines like... illegitimate kids and shit... Fuck, I'd rather have a leprechaun midget get produced by my stubby shillelagh over this fuckin' tool... Seriously... people tell me that I RIP BITCHES OFF? If I were Disney and Bandai, I'd be suing the hot ass offa each of these Angels just for fuckin' pushing this moron and letting him talk, fight, or hell, be seen. That's PLAGIARISM!!!! Where's the FCC when you need their asses! We don't need them censoring me gettin' bitches naked... we need them censoring stupidity! Christ... now I'm so hot over this shit I gotta pass the mic... Seven! Start rollin' one up! I need to calm my ass down and FUCK! Who gets this shit???"
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Post by fninfamous on Sept 15, 2007 18:18:07 GMT -4
The camera shifts over to 187 sitting there with a blunt in his mouth. Filling the room with smoke? You damn right..."Damn. That's some cold sh*t... Man... I would say we'd have to give his @$$ one of yo' books but... I don't think 'da world is ready fo' anotha' Powa' Ranga' runnin' 'da streets. Oh? Don't know what book I'm talkin' about? Well.." The screen splits and it shows this image on the side of 187. " 'Dats right folks. You got trouble gettin' some "peaches?" You need help lurin' someone into 'da sheets? You can easily orda' 'dis and mo' offa' 'da APW Store at www.apwrestling. You want some merchandise of yo' favorite wrestla's? Just go to 'dat site and be sure to get somethin' fo' ya'self. Hell... I'll show ya what we got there my damn self. Let's see here..." The image of PornStar's book fades away and a new image appears on screen."You a fan of APW's resident n00b Nolanrox? You want to be like Nolanrox? Well, then be just like Nolanrox and go ahead and get yourself some of........  "It's simila' to 'da candy Pop Rocks, but 'da RUSH you'll feel when you get yo' self some of 'dis is just UNBELIEVABLE! I wouldn't know but uh... I mean... Come on now... If Nolan does this stuff... and you know how he is then... I just KNOW you'll LOVE 'dis product... Just look at this happy customa'... Doesn't he just look so happy...?" Then another image shows up in it's place...  "You've gotta be f**ked up outta' yo' mind if you even think you got a shot against 'Da Fam. Everytime Nolan goes to 'da ring, whatcha think he takes a nice long swig of befo' he speaks...? 'Dats right. 'Dis stuff. 'Da good sh*t. If you're looking to be like 'dis fool and you love what he does... Get yo'self a case of 'dis sh*t. I can GUARANTEE 'dat you'll be hooked on 'dis sh*t fo' 'da rest of yo' mothaf**kin' life. Now I'ma pass 'dis off to my homie right here. I'm sure he got somethin' else you gonna like."
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Post by pornstar on Sept 15, 2007 20:08:31 GMT -4
"I'm just wonderin' if his ass will suck some dick for some of them Rox... My money sez yes. Onto other news.
Hey! Anybody think it's real funny that I managed to fuck one of V's wimmens and still live?" [/font] |
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Tommy Gunns
Status Unknown
THAT Nigga!
It's A Cold World. Nigga Gotta Supply His Own "Heat"...
Posts: 40
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Post by Tommy Gunns on Sept 15, 2007 20:17:19 GMT -4
Fuckin' white boys...I find it funny how you think V ain't gave the order yet nigga. Season ain't ova' is it?...Then SHUT THE FUCK UP!  Damn...Go 'head D. Preach on that pimpin' like you do sometimes.
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Dice Dillinger
Status Unknown
P.I.M.P. Paper In My Pocket Bitch!!!!!
Posts: 469
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Post by Dice Dillinger on Sept 15, 2007 23:39:32 GMT -4
+Dice just sat there and shook his head, draped in his usual oh so pimpalicious attire as always. He slowly stood up, switching his cigar from one hand to the other as he stepped around the news desk they all sat behind. Shaking his head at Buck's comments that were gonna get him killed just yet. As he approached the camera filming and began speaking two lovely ladies stepped into camera view, draping over his body a long, pimped out mink coat, just as the lights began dying down. Clearing his throat he began...+See my brethren seem to have forgotten what this show is all about people. It's about helping people out there in desperate need of something. In need of guidance and assistance in becoming what they so deathly want to be. Me? I haven't forgotten the mission bitches. Nah...I know it's a lot of mothafucka's out there in need of help from the pimp of the century. And guess what tonight?...I'm gonna give you little limp dick simps somethin' that's gonna change your fuckin' life...What you might ask?Tommy: Oh say whut tha' fuck it is already nigga!!!Hush child, you can't rush pimpin'. It's gotta come naturaly and slow like. *Ahem* This here is the gift that the Familia Regime Order, and the illustrious pimp before you...Is giving YOU the viewers at home a chance to obtain...For all you suckaz ass mothafucka's out there who aspire to be more than you are at this very moment. For you sumbitches like...Nolanrox...  Who ain't had pussy since pussy had HIM! Cabal Xavier  Pfftt...No bitch on the planet wants to fuck the missing link. Let's just be honest. Michael Taylor  This motherfucker done went pussy less so damn long his ass can't even concentrate long enough to get a win in the damn win. Sittin' around waiting for Nicole Storm's ugly ass to give it up...Pfftt...You fuckin' sucker ass bitch. 
One successfully completing my novel you will NEVER...EVER...Have money or bitch problems again. Need money for college?...PIMP A BITCH!!!...Behind on child support? Shit fuck it, get the baby momma involved and put her ass on the track and PIMP THAT BITCH!!! Hard times where you live at currently? No jobs? You one of them damn white boys who thinks affirmative action is the worse creation since VH-1? PIMP...A...BITCH!!! The hell you tryin' to work for someone else for anyway? Find a bitch to work for YOU dumbass! So, if you're sick of the day to day hustle and grind out there, step up to the plate bitches. Get ON your ass and make a bitch get OFF of theirs and get your damn money flowing in. If you ready just dial...
1-900-PAY THIS PIMP...Once again for you pussy impaired people out there...
1-900-PAY THIS PIMP!!!!
GET IT NOW!!!!! 
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Post by pornstar on Sept 16, 2007 0:11:26 GMT -4
"Wait one sec... we got us a caller..."
Buck lets the caller on the air... [/font] |
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Post by lc on Sept 16, 2007 0:21:06 GMT -4
"First off... I want to know what the FUCK is up with this show degrading YOUR peers that bust their ass JUST AS HARD as you do? What the fuck? Pimpilicious? Buck Wylde's "Get More Pussy?" What kind of immature bullsh--" [/font][/center] |
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Post by pornstar on Sept 16, 2007 0:23:13 GMT -4
*CLICK*"Sexist."
"ANYways... onto something more interestin'... Looks like we got us a Nationwide Title match at Game Over... y'know? I ain't even gon' comment on this bullshit.... *sigh*
"Fuckin' Diamond's got more lives than a cockroach... don't he? I mean... here he is... up to the main plate... one on one title match with me last Full Throttle.... right? And he's just like... a fuckin' puddle of premature ejac in the middle of the unlucky virgin's fuckin' boxers, man, I mean, for real. How badly did I whip his ass? Shit... I wasn't even hurtin'... it's about as ridiculous as Joe Bruiser's afro or anyone givin' a shit what Warrior thinks... I mean, get real. Talk about a lackluster affair to go out on, huh? These ninja's best make this is a good fuckin' match or I'm coming back and pwning every last one of 'em before I split and make alla Dice's bitches suck down a gallon of Buck-Shot if ya know what I mean... Fuck it... whatchu bitches got planned?" |
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Dice Dillinger
Status Unknown
P.I.M.P. Paper In My Pocket Bitch!!!!!
Posts: 469
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Post by Dice Dillinger on Sept 16, 2007 17:24:09 GMT -4
Damn...That bitch sounded kind of familiar dude. Sounded like this broad I used to have sellin' ass named..La...Lacey somethin'...Real strange bitch. Pale as fuck too. Looks like she stuck her head in a bag of cookin' flour or somethin'. I'm like I thought bitches powdered their noses not their whole fuckin' faces. But anyway, as far as Game Over goes?...
+A bright smile comes over Dice's face, his mouth opening just enough to show his new gold grill shining bright before going on...+Oh I got some plans but I can't really say right this minute Fam. Who knows, might need a little "help" from some old friends if you know what I mean. I'll just say the theme for the show ain't gonna be that bullshit the Angels is tryin' to throw on us lately. One game ends and another begins? Pfftt...Fuck that!...The theme for Game Over IS...The Fam...Is in...The BUILDING!!! That's all that matters and that's all I'm gon' say so I don't give shit away. I know you got those two bitches Diamond and Bruiser and what not, V got that overgrown monkey Cross again...*Sigh* When's that boy gonna get sick of losing to V dog? Make no sense to me. 187 probably gonna beat the living shit out of whoever is dumb enough to fuck with him or run their damn mouths within the next week. K got some major "title" plans brewing too so watch out for that. I'm just excited to be getting this shit over with man so ahhh...Me and the homey Buck can get our new pimpilicious establishment opened up back Nevada bitches. For all your needed pimp gear, pimp information if you're lookin' to get into the business of sellin' vagina, come on down to
Pimps Paradise 6969 Tropicana Avenue Las Vegas, Nevada. Be there players and playettes. It's sure to be very beneficial to your financial situation AND your level of incoming pussy. Gentlemen?
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Post by pornstar on Sept 16, 2007 19:48:56 GMT -4
AND NOW:
JASON ARIELLE: FAT CHICK LOCATER"DICE! Fuckin' hire that announcer... He does ALL FamTV's from now on! That shit was awesome..."
Buck has managed to put on a suit coat, sitting at a desk, shuffling some papers... He clears his throat...
"*ahem* NOW! I, Jason Arielle, AKA the Skin Flick Phenom, AKA PornStar, AKA King Large-Cock, AKA Your Illegitimate Father, AKA the Fat-Chick-Pointer-Outer has taken it upon himself to bring startling revelations to your eyes and humiliate these cows to the point where they hopefully will get the common fuckin' sense that if your skin folds OVER the bikini strap... it means you're too fuckin' fat to wear that shit and should switch over to a Moo-moo. Right? That's one hell of a patriotic duty if you ask me...
First on the list?" BRITNEY SPEARS"Mhm.... FUCKIN' MOOOOOOOOOOO COW, MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Jenny Drew? I 'pologize for all the fat broad jokes... you've always been a class act in stickin' with the full skin, hide them stretch marks clothes, so you gain my respect, and, my desire to plow you. Dice wants to, I want to, c'mon 'round sometime... we'll switch you over to the cock in no time. ANYWAYs... This fuckin' slob had the gall to show up at a major awards show publicity celebrity ass-kiss event.... and instead of hiding her pudge in all the hiding clothes that fat-ass bitches wear in Hollywood.... this fuckin' cunt slaps on the sickest bit of lingerie that should never be seen on someone aside from Candi Angel... cuz now? That's the only way that outfits gonna make me wanna blow the asshole outta a chick, is if Candice wears it for me before I blow out her asshole. Yeah... that sounds like something I need to make happen before our Pimpin' Agency opens up, Dice... Now, next on the list... you had to look for this fatty, but I found her to point out to alla you's so you ain't surprised when she shows up... ANGEL STORM"I personally blame Dick for this one. Motherfucker goes missin' and probably got lost under this moo-cow at a buffet line. "I'll get that gravy for you miss!" *slips, falls, disappears up her fat ass when she falls on top of him...*
SEE WHY YOU SHOULDN'T'A HIRED A FATTY ANGELS!!!
You put the entire division at risk! I mean... hell, put that one bitch that called up and interrupted our show against her... if it's that Lacey broad Dice was talkin' bout, that bitch is fuckin' scrawny. Her ribs will cave in like a fuckin' 1st graders Popsicle stick house under the bully's boot... I mean, c'mon... You ain't gonna make us sign liability waivers with our contracts now, are ya? The amount of people this bitch is gon' hurt just by dropping a leg on them or something will soon break each of you that workman's comp and rehab and physical therapy costs will soon NOT be covered by the Angels...
Actually... I'm jettin' after this season anyways, so I guess that's cool. I can laugh at something for a change... cuz, gawdamn, did I laugh my ass off at that Britney incident!" |
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Dice Dillinger
Status Unknown
P.I.M.P. Paper In My Pocket Bitch!!!!!
Posts: 469
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Post by Dice Dillinger on Sept 27, 2007 21:04:01 GMT -4
+Dice could only shake his head in response to the last skit by his brothers. These son of a bitches were getting WORSE by the day it seemed. The smile began to form at the corners of his lips as he responded...+Sick motherfuckers. You see that girl's been on twinkie and oreo binges for the past two years dog. How you gonna dog her like that? Ha Ha...Bitch needs trimspa. Some slim-fast. Hell some slim-NOW. Whateva', we moving on to the end of this last edition of FAMTv people. Yea...Yea I know it's fucked up but the Angel bitchez are raising all kinds of PMS induced hell over the shit we've been saying over the air lately and...*Sigh* We gotta cancel the show once again. Yea...It's a bitch to have all this talent and be restricted from using it but...
Do not fret boys and girls. ALL episodes of FAMTv as well as WKYA WILL be making their way to your local video store REAL soon. Like whenever we find a way to keep APW from gettin' some of our fuckin' money when it does. Pimp gotta keep all he can right? Damn right, Now let's close this out with some shit that's been all over the news and wrestling shows everywhere...Sadly we just lost one of the best to ever do it in this sport we take part in people. By now I know ya' know I'm talkin' 'bout our Regime brother...Jon Pryor...+Instantly the image on the screen begins to fade out of visual resolution, as this one begins to slowly take it's place...+
One of the baddest motherfuckers to EVER set foot in that ring dog. Hands down one of the best. You've all heard about it. We just lost one of our industry leaders man. It hurts like a bitch especially with it being family but hey I guess we gotta find a way to push the hell on and represent for our fallen brother.
So with that said, all of us at the Familia Regime Order would like to send out a special shout out and our condolences to any and everybody effected by this man. Life's a bitch but death sure seems to be just as bad when it's one of your family eh? Hold it down Pyro and V said save him a seat bro...WherEVER that may be. One time for the "Wrestling Savior" boys!!!FAMILIA!!!...REGIME...ORDER!!!
FADE TO BLACK
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Damn...Go 'head D. Preach on that pimpin' like you do sometimes.
