Hey, hey, Miss American Pie... (O2A, Must Read)

[pornstar]

"I'm fuckin' BORED!!!"

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Location: The APW Tower View and Lounge...
Subject: Jason "Buck Wylde, PornStar, King Large-Cock, Fat-Chick-Pointer-Outer, Lesbian-Maker, Your Illegitimate Father" Arielle.
Mission: Decrease Boredom...

Yes... it is Jason Arielle... the scourge of the roster with the greatest motherfuckin' gimmick....

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EVAR!!!!

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And he comes to you with another episode of just why I shouldn't be bored... set to debut on FamDVD tomorrow... Soon to end in the buy one get three free bin with his former Riot mask, "Get More Pussy Book" and "Dice's: Pimpilicious: How to get bitches to sell pussy for YOUR benefit," along with PornStar's forthcoming Cabal Xavier doll, accessorized with miniature needles for 'Roid Rage, F-Bomb dropping fun. Watch the wives, kiddies... this one's sure to get violent.

Somehow... I think the health code is gonna get broken... probably a good thing that Canadian's get free health care. And, how he got into the kitchen of the Lounge without getting halted by a pot of boiling, still alive lobsters flying at his face is beyond, well... everybody. He'll blame the Mexican janitor... that's for sure.

Then... he sees an outlet... a release...



Hmmmmmmmm..... *approaches pie*

"Hey, there, Miss... "Alpha Female..." Whatchu doin' in a place like this, hm? YOU know... I been thinkin' about you a lot... well, since our little moment in the sex shop... oh yes... You felt it too? Ah... yeah... I knew you had your ass right there for me... No need to explain... I get it all... the.... time.... Don't feel embarrassed... It's okay, it's okay... What's that?"

He brings his ear closer to the pie...

"You want me inside you? But Miss "Alpha Female!" We're in public!"

He *Spanks* the tin of the pie...

"You're a bad Alpha Female... You still want me inside you?"

Shifty eyes look around. The coast is clear...

"Well... if you insist..."

*pants come off... he mounts... Spastically thrusting the poor morsel...*

"Oh... oh god... Lilith... *groans*... God, I can see why Jon was yer little bitch... I can see why he fried himself cuz he couldn't have ya no more... Oh God.... I think... I think I'm gonna... yer so good... I just can't hold o---"

He stops. Something else has caught his attention... Reaching out and diggin' precisely THREE fingers into this one... since anything else would be a pure insult... and towards him he drags a...



Cherry Pie... sweet, Cherry Pie....

"Fancy meetin' you here, Candice... Oh... me and Lilith? We just... couldn't contain ourselves no more... she's sooooooooo in to me... much more than that Italian bastard runnin' my Fam... So, you know... one thing lead to another... And now... lookit me! Halfway to balls deep in Lilith... and well, two knuckles into you...."

*Brings the cherry pie even closer...*

"I think that means ya want some....

TONGUE!!!"

Buck plunges face first in, his near foot long tongue scraping bottom, the spastic, orgasmic thrusting into the pie continues as he orally stimulates the other until he's busted by...

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[Mikki Wilson]

:: How did Mikki get into the lounge kitchen?...She tipped the Mexican Janitor a Benjamin...she had a habit of lifting some ice cream from the Lounge freezer...Yea...she was a little thief sometimes...when she wanted to be...call it a bad habit...but back to the scene...Walking back into the kitchen Mikki wasn't really paying attention until she saw Buck with his pants down laying on one of the large metal tables used to prepare food...actually FUCKING a pie...and on top of the table licking another out while fingering it...Mikki was stunned...grossed out and oddly unable to look away...how could a man be that desperate? ::

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"What the fuck?"

[pornstar]

"..........."

His attention snaps up...

"Uh.... hi."

Deep inside, Quagmire is crying for not being this cool...

[Mikki Wilson]

:: Total awkward silence ::



























DAMN!

[pornstar]

Still mounting the pie, Jason shudders. Ah... the release... not the good kind of release... but it's like when Mom walk's in on you trying to fire off a load of knuckle children, and you're trying to hide it even though she's shocked as hell and then, well, it just blows up anyways in the most hilariously embarrassing ways evar? Yeah... that's here. Buck coughs, his breathing coming back to normal.

"So... uh..."

He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket, slapping one in his mouth during his stand from the countered mount...

"Got a light?"

He doesn't even get an answer before looking down, a large piece of apple plummets off of his bigger than yours dick to the ground... the ants will have a field day with that one. Finally, he just laughs....

"CUT!"

WTF?

An actual camera crew was in there for this, patting him on the back as he toweled off before the stunned near jail-bait.

"Good show, everyone... Remember... get that shit in stores tomorrow, aight?"

He pulls up his pants, approaching the young, appalled woman...

"Think YouTube will love that one?"

[Mikki Wilson]

:: Still stunned and appalled Mikki stares at Buck with a What the fuck look on her face...she couldn't think up what to say....at all... ::

[pornstar]

"Eh... You'll get it when you're older. Hey... you see my shave job? Did that look like a "P" to you?"

[Mikki Wilson]

"Fucking a pie?...Fucking a PIE?...What the FUCK?"

[pornstar]

"Hey, Like I said... you'd understand when you get older.

Now... ya evar need some extra cash... lemme know. I can land ya a role, no sweat... Here's my card..."

Jason Arielle
Pimp/PornStar/Interior Decorator

"I see a bright career for ya kid... just think 'bout all the barely legal movies you could do in one day... You an' me could star in Barely Legal's 8-15 on Monday... then do the next dozen the next day... it'd be like clockwork..."

[Mikki Wilson]

:: Okay...he went from fucking a pie to offering her a job is a porn movie?...she should run...FAST...but sadly for her her feet won't move....and she replies ::


"Me in a porn?...ugh...you crazy?"

[Yuki Kenzo]

Unnoticed to Mikki and Jason another young girl has just entered the kitchen. She is taking a look around and then slowly walks over to the table on which a still hot pie is standing. Another quick look around then she picks up one piece of it and starts to eat it…

Hm…..pie is good.

[Dice Dillinger]

+Dice had made his way from behind the cameras, smile on his face as the scene came to a close and a cellphone pressed to his ear talking to a few distributors about coming on board with this newest FamDVD project. American Pie X rated out? Who the fuck could resist that?!!? He started his way towards Buck, toweling off and speaking to some woman he'd never seen before while conversing into the phone...+

Yea...Yea that's right we want at LEAST a million in circulation by next Friday...Yea for sure...Tommy Lee & Pamela? Nah pimpin'. We outselling that shit in two days I bet. Buck's shit is real and not a prosthetic. Chyna? Nah...No wants to see a huge clump of regurgitated turkey meat being pounded by some way over confident blue collar white boy pretending to be a menace because it's the "cool" thing to do nowadays. No...FamDVD is gonna....

+His mouth drops, as does his cell phone to the floor seeing...No...Oh my god in the name of everything pimpilicious, it can't be...Yuki...*Gulp*...Eating...The PIE??!? He quickly lunges forward, extending his arm with enough force to knock the pie from her hands to the floor before she could finish...+

NO!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!!? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT PIE JUST HAD 12 INCHES OF COCK SHOVED INTO IT THREE FUCKIN' SECONDS AGO?!!?

[Yuki Kenzo]

*sniff *

A single tear is runnig down her cheek as she looks at the piece of pie that Dice has thrown out of her hand and which has landed on the floor. Yuki raise her head and looks confused at Dice.

Little Dice was in my pie?

[pornstar]

"Dude.... For the win."

[Yuki Kenzo]

Yuki looks confused at Dice...not knowing exactly what he was talking about. As she really has no clue what little Dice would want with some pie...as she knows that little Dice likes Japanese a lot more.